The neon lights are indeed bright on Broadway....

Greetings!  I hope that your new year has been fabulous for you.  It's been pretty darn good for me so far. 

About two weeks ago I went to NYC for an audition for the Off-Broadway production of Coming, a show in which I was involved for about two years.  I was in the original reading, and January of 2011 I was in the first full production of it here in Philadelphia.  

With Reichen Lehmkuhl (from The Amazing Race...consequently he also dated Lance Bass), Erik Ransom (His brainchild IS Coming, also creator of his alter ego Damian Salt), and Adam Hostler (Played the Coming derivation of Joshua Crenshaw) at the opening of Coming.

I was thrilled to go up there, not just because it was an NYC audition, but I was going to get seen!  By a New York casting director.  Also, it's always good to see my Philly peeps (Madi Distefano, the director of this version of Coming, she is also the founder and co-artistic director of Brat Productions, and also Erik, an honorary Philadelphian).

Looking at my calendar around that time I realized I had a few days off before and after the audition, so I decided to spend a few days up there.  There were so many friends I hadn't seen in months and it was time.  The start had aligned and I was meant to spend time there.

After setting up my sleeping arrangements, on my friend Chrissy's couch, I got in touch with my closest friends and set on times to meet up.  I also allowed myself time to simply walk around.  Honestly, I always had a hard time understanding the layout of New York, couldn't ever say "Oh I know what you're talking about" when someone said they lived at 110th and 7th.  "Wha?" I would I always wonder.

Turns out, Paula Vogel would be speaking and signing at The Drama Book Shop about a half hour after I was to get to NYC, and right around the corner from where I was supposed to be dropped off from the bus.  Coincidentally, my friend Matteo Scammel (A very talented actor here in Philly) had signed up to take the same bus up there to attend the same event.  Eerie, but ultimately exciting to have a friend there.

We were a little late getting in, but we rushed over and she still had about 20 minutes to speak.  Because everyone was crammed into the back of the little tiny black box they have in their downstairs, the woman running the event paused Paula and asked if people could sit on the little ledge behind her that ran across the back panel of the stage area she was on.  She turned around and asked if anyone was interested in sitting there and Matteo and I jumped on the opportunity.  I walked past her, with my bags and little suitcase, and nervously nodded and smiled when she put her hand on my back and pointed at the first little seat for me to sit on.

She was lovely, by the way.  I think it may have just been the stage lighting, but from where I was sitting, it looked like she was glowing.  One thing she said to me rang so important.  It was heading towards the end of the Q & A.  A young woman playwright in the audience asked her what the best advice she ever got was.  Paula went on the tell a story about how she was rejected horribly by an agent, which led her to create her own work, and to be honest and heartfelt.  She basically felt that that experience helped her to realize that what's most important are the people that you surround yourself with.  That you should have people around you that respect you and are honest with you.  "A circle stays afloat, one person doesn't".

I had her sign my book, and to my surprise she knew what I was talking about when I mentioned The Wilma Theatre's Our Class, which I know she went to see.  She also knew about Azuka Theater's production of her play The Long Christmas Ride Home.  I was completely start struck.

Just the beginning of my journey...

This post is to be continued....so many cool things to report.  I must go to the gym!

xo

-Cindy

Living permanently in actor housing...

Greetings y'all!  Hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!  I know I sure did, seeing a hilarious Valentine's play called The Playdaters at my usual Philly haunt Quig's pub with my boyfriend.  It was splendid (so was the red rose he got me, but I digress...).

So, I'll fill you in on a little something.  I live in Center City Philadelphia and I live in The Wilma Theater's actor housing.  You say, "How Cindy?  You haven't been cast there before!".  Well, Ed sure has (twice!) and this year because they've begun hiring more people in town, Ed asked if he could stay until he found a more permanent place.  Look no further than a signed lease for a year living in their actor housing in Center City.  I joined officially in December and we've been living here happily ever since.

Living in actor housing permanently is actually quite interesting, simply because everyone around you is constantly shifting.  I've met several professional designers, actors, and directors just from wandering the halls and coming up the stairs.  Last night for instance Ed and I were coming in from a little bit of a late night at Quig's.  As we walk up the stairs our neighbor's door is open and he arrives with a spatula in his hand, saying that he was making leftovers and we should come in and join him.  One of the other actors that is living downstairs came up too.  We talked and ate and listened to music for about 45 minutes and it was lovely.  I'm forging these tiny relationships and connections with people I never would have met unless I was living here.

They leave just as quickly as they arrive, especially the designers and directors.  I don't get to know them as well, but once a show opens an actor's day is pretty much open for anything to happen.  So sometimes I find myself on little adventures with an actor from Canada or LA or Brooklyn...

These little tiny relationships I cherish so much.  It's just nice to know that if I ever venture to their part of the country, I have a friend I can call and get coffee with.

Once I get a new cord for my camera, I'll upload pictures from my impromptu vacation in NYC and tell you all about the amazing self discoveries I had.

Until next time...

-Cindy

Simply the best

First of all, I have to say that having a good audition is a good feeling.

Having a great one, however, is like a natural high: uncontrollable smile, lightness in your step, the occasional "yes!" elbow/arm pump gesture.  Not outwards, but inwards towards myself.  Exciting, warm, almost incoherent to the outside world.

That happened to me yesterday.

I realized recently I've been, dare I say it, afraid to take risks.  For a silly fear of feeling vulnerable.  Sometimes I find myself wondering about why I do this, and recollecting that it's because I want to tell a story, and I want people to remember that they are not alone.  I've felt like I've had a wall up.  Not just towards my career, but also what I watched.

It is time to say good-bye to that.  Because honestly yesterday I had a good audition, then I had a GREAT audition.

So, I went in for a local theater company and when I was towards the end of the side I knew the exact moment that I started to push, and they knew it too.  But I was given some really great direction, it was playable, you know?  After I got their direction, I took a moment.  In that moment something allowed me to relax and just DO the scene.

There's a quote from the movie American Beauty that goes: "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."  During that read I really felt the emotions, for the first time in a long time, and it was exhilarating.  Dare I say, that was a good audition.

After that, I transported myself to another local theater company to sing and maybe read some sides.  Feeling really good about the other audition I strapped on my heels, tossed on some blush, and looked over my lyrics.  The elderly man who was wise-cracking the whole time (it was adorable....and comforting) was impressed by how early I was.  He took me upstairs and I saw the two people in there and I remember in my head saying "I'm going to nail this".  With that confidence I had one of the best auditions of my life.  I don't want to go into too much detail, but they seemed surprised and pleased.

Not knowing whether or not it will come through is difficult about having knock-out auditions.  They could have seen someone much more suited for the role before me, or I may not have been what they were looking for in this particular show.  What I do know is that they will remember me, especially after I send them a "Thank You" in the mail.  All I can do at this point is use that connection to the best of my ability.

Love and all that jazz,
-Cindy

January Update!

Hello all!

I know I promised to update more, but I've just been so darn busy!  So here's what's been going on with me...

As some of you may know, I performed in a short run of a show with Simpatico Theatre Project rightfully called "The Meep Project".  We performed at the Walnut St. Theatre in their 5th floor performance space.  The show was initially conceptualized by my boyfriend Ed Swidey when he was working with theatre camps with young kids.  While working with the kids he wanted to create a movement piece for their final presentations and the kids begged him for lines.  He said alright you get one word: meep.  That's all they could say throughout.  And it turns out the piece was wildly successful with those kids.  The show was also successful this past summer when we did the piece with our summer camp kids.

 

 

 

Meep set and meep kids!

Ed had the idea of proposing it to a theatre company in Philly to see how the show would go with adult actors, since he had never tried it.  After getting together a seriously sick cast of adult actors in Philadelphia to do it we jumped into a short term rehearsal process and before we knew it we were in tech!  And then we opened!  Lo and behold we were a hit, receiving stellar reviews and overselling our last weekend, people getting turned away at the door!  And to boot some of our original meepers made the journey from Westport Mass. to Philadelphia to come and see the show.  I've never felt more honored.

Read our fantastic review!

With Sara Howard in The Meep Project

Well, I can't say too much more in detail but since that extraordinary experience we've been asked about what the next step is for Meep.  There might be a remount...or some other things are in the works.  Once I get the go ahead on disclosure, I'll make sure to keep you posted.

So that brings us to a little update about my movie.  First off let me just say that making this movie was an incredible experience.  I just fell in love with everyone on set, I was able to work with remarkable actors, and the director and I were like two peas in a pod.  When we wrapped this Sunday, I cried saying goodbye to everyone, especially Steve, the director.  Sitting here at my desk in my apartment I'm reminiscing about the experience and I find myself speechless.  There are no words for how joyous I was when I reached set, and how excited I was to try new things with the actors.

I believe I've stated on here that I haven't ever done film work before.  Working on this has been a true testament to how adaptable you have to be as an actor.  Film work is a complete 180 from on stage work.  It's compressed, it's focused in a different way.  The fundamentals are the same, in a "what-I-want-and-how-I'm-going-to-get-it" sort of way, but film is not shot in a linear fashion.  Meaning you film different parts of the movie while on set. 

For example, if there is a bedroom set that shows up 4 times in the script, most likely you are going to shoot those scenes in one day, or in several days in a row.  The editor takes all of the shots and pieces together the story the way it is in the script.  Not going to lie, when I realized this I felt like I went through an existential crisis: "So does that mean that's how they shoot The Office?", and "That feels disingenuous!", and "Theatre just makes more SENSE to me!?". 

The experience of acting on screen was most enjoyable because it was just so different to me.  There were times that I did feel nervous because I simply felt like I didn't know what the hell I was doing.  But I confided in the director and other people on set and I felt sated.  Honestly, if you're doing a film for the first time don't fret, just take a deep breath, remind yourself why you're there, and just do it fully. 

As far as the timeline for when it premiers, I'll let you know.  Steve is hoping to have it ready for a premier in September.  And yeah, I'm going to let the world know.

In terms of trying to further my career, all I can say is never stop submitting.  I went from ZERO auditions to FOUR in two days.  Also, I bit the bullet and signed up for a personal trainer at LA Fitness, just a few blocks from me and let me tell you I'm already seeing results (there was some turmoil with the guy who signed me up got reassigned and they had to reorganize and blah blah blah...I won't go into it).  What's nice is...it's a tax write-off.  Seriously!  It's a business expense.  I am a business.  I get all types of advice and it's good to have a support system there while I work out. 

My advice: it's a good investment if you invest in yourself.

The brings us up to date.  I actually should get going because I need to start looking over my audition materials and get it in my skin. 

Here's hopin'

-Cindy

December Update...

Hey folks!

Sorry I haven't had a chance to update this until now.  December turned out to be quite a busy month.  I was rehearsing, auditioning, scheduling, shooting, seeing shows, standardized-patienting, etc...

So how has it been going?  Well December turned out to be so busy that I actually didn't have time for a day job.  That's right!  For the first time since graduating in 2008, I don't have a regular part-time "money" gig...I make the money with my art! (and SP work...).  At first, I felt conflicted about it, since I was raised by people who live 9-5, Mon-Fri, I had always accepted that as the norm.  In fact, when I first graduated that's the type of job that I had because I thought that's just what you did.

Boy, could I not be more wrong.  For me, not only was having a full-time job monotonous and boring, but I didn't have time to actually commit myself to finding decent acting work.  I was constantly weighing "to go to work or not to go to work" every morning and after one particular incident with a company (the owner called me a little witch by the way, if you care to know whom, ask me.  It's a delightful story) I decided my relationship with crappy, low-paying, high stress jobs was over, and I decided to take my skills elsewhere.

Who's Hiring?

Thus started the beginnings of my relationship with the American unemployment compensation program, as well as my familiarity with hustling to agents and open calls in NYC (because why not?).  It took some time, but I finally was able to balance several jobs (whilst keeping a very tight schedule at hand at all times) including theatre work that I was able to make ends meet.  I found that having a schedule where I had something new each day made me happier, plain and simple.  I taught this summer (that is...started a theatre camp!  A successful summer camp, how about that?), I did costumes at one point, SP work, Gymboree, NCC...it was an eclectic year, to say the least, but I feel freer and more flexible.  I don't get bored, I have to keep on my toes.  I also found that balancing multiple jobs has helped me become more responsible, and take more responsibility.

And I suppose that brings us up to date.  Just about a month or two ago I left my incredibly part-time-not-worth-it job because I kind of didn't have time, I had moved on to another actual part-time job and it turns out I literally didn't have time for it.  No hard feelings, no bridges burned.  It was just one of those things.

Maybe this is a good time to update on the film I've been shooting.  Since the end of November, I've been working on a film called "Bodies" with a screenwriting professor from University of the Arts named Steve Saylor.  Steve has directed a few films and asked me about 6 months ago if I'd be interested in making a movie in the fall/winter.  Now here we are and I think, despite some technical hiccups, the movie has been going really well.  The character is complex, and so is the story.  But I think that because the film has a really intelligent and talented cast and crew, we are able to tell the story in a really beautiful and touching way.  At least I feel confident in that.  I also feel confident in the director.

Oh crap!

This is my first movie.  Despite one web-commercial stint, I have never been on camera, and I must say I was always daunted by it.  The more I do it though, the better I feel about my work.  I would honestly like to re-shoot some scenes that we filmed a month ago.  However, without a doubt, I'm going to have a hard time watching the final product.  Imagine this: You are the lead actor in a movie, you sit inside a sold-out movie theatre, and watch a 1.5 hour movie with your big face on a 23 foot movie screen in front of all of them.....

Nerve-wracking.

But I'll have to get through it somehow.  The ultimate question is, how could I miss my first premier ever?

We are approaching the new year and it's a lot to look back on.  It started with sorrow when my friend Melissa Lynch passed away, the day before the new year.  There was a cold dent in our theatre world here, and I often find myself thinking about her, and mourning the loss of such a beautiful, bright young woman.

I believe that people leave behind energies.  When I was in college, my acting professor, Mark Wade, sat on the edge of the stage in the first class of the semester and told us about why we need to respect our theatre.  He said, "There are spirits.  Energies are left behind here.  Have you ever stood on the stage of a theatre by yourself?  You'll feel it".  And it's true.  An empty stage just has something about it.  I especially felt it when I went to see "Midsummer Night's Dream" at The Lantern, where Melissa had just played Sonya in Uncle Vanya a few months prior.  Melissa's uncanny presence remained.  Her performance is there forever, and it will live forever with those who saw it.  I suppose that can be reassuring. 

With it's lows, there were highs.  Summer On Stage was created and I learned so much from these incredible children.  I couldn't believe how willing they were to jump in and create something new.  They took a risk with us.  Visit the website: www.summeronstage.com.  Ed and I couldn't have had a better summer. 

This year I feel really good about the shows I was in and the work I did.  I felt pride for all of the shows.

Oh hi

hi!

Why hellooooo

I am proud of the decisions I've made in 2011.  My first resolution in 2012?  Stay true to me.  That's the only way to get through.

Other resolution?  I'll update more. (:

Peace and love in the new year,

-Cindy

My interesting night of music mayhem...

My mother texted me months back asking me if I wanted to see Manheim Steamroller at the Academy in December.  The answer was a resounding "YES" from me, only because my mother bombarded us with their music as children and I just had to get a good look at the monster that was vibraphone-synthesized-newwave-Rennaissance-Christmas music.

I'll give you an image:
A Rennaissance Christmas
(they played this in the background while they were performing the songs.  It was like I was listening to canned music.)

The crowd was no younger than a mean age of 45, and without a doubt it was a group of people that don't get out much.  I overheard people saying things like "My sister came up from Maryland for the show".

In any case it was fine.  I'm not into that type of music at all.  If I hear trumpets I want to see trumpets on the stage, you know?  Actually, I felt bad for the performers because they had to play along so strictly.  It wasn't an audience that would have appreciated a jam, but I would have loved to see them rock out.  They were obviously all talented performers.

It was a weird show.  I can't explain it.  The creator, Chip Davis, whose name is on all of the albums, he popped up on the screen twice to give his thanks and to say "BUY OUR SHIT".  It seemed like "schtick".  It was cheesy.  It was dated.  But then again there were a lot of people there, and there were actually shouts from the audience, like woo! and YEAH!  And my mom had a really good time.

After that at 11pm, my boyfriend and I met up at the Bearded Ladies cabaret, a series that The Wilma Theatre is producing and I absolutely LOVED IT.  We had seen their Edith Piaf cabaret and I was looking forward to this one a lot.  I'm so glad I saw it!  The music was creative and everyone had tight harmonies.  The timing was great, and I absolutely fell in love with Dixie, our drag mother (played by John Jarboe) who took us through the songs of the South and beyond.  It was well put together and I just had a great time.  TOTALLY stark difference from Manheim Steamroller.  This was more my speed.  They have two more cabarets this season, so I would definitely check it out if you haven't already.

Going in with everything and leaving with nothing...

So yesterday I had an audition at Act II Playhouse in Ambler for their musical My Fair Lady.
The audition went so well.  I went in with a song and a monologue that I knew really well, and the dance combo was easy as pie.  The director and I had a lovely rapport.

Me: I'll be singing "Home" from The Wiz
Accompanist: I love that song
Me: Me too!
Director: I love it too.  But I should say that in this case I'll only love it if it's good.  So I hope it's good.
Me: ...me too?
*SING*
Director:...That was just lovely.
Me: (inside) yayyayayayay

But I've had SO many auditions where this was the case.  I'm sure we all have.  We slayed it, in the bank, no sweat.  Then we get the rejection email...or we don't.

It's that in between phase that can be so uncomfortable.  Sometimes you wonder "should I email/send a postcard to the director/casting director?"  Or your friends, (who you KNOW auditioned as well), you surreptitiously ask them if they heard or if they know anything.  You begin to question your talent, your training, your connections.  You pick apart the audition.  You become certain they found someone not nearly as good as you.  Then you know they found someone better.  I could have done this differently or I should have taken their direction further or I should have just relied on my instincts...didn't I learn ANYTHING from viewpoints!?

I don't know if I'm more "hurt" by the rejection email or the nonexistent one.  I have found that through emailing the director, I've gotten a response to my audition and even sometimes feedback (which I always appreciate).  What I do feel proud of is knowing that my best effort was put out there and usually the director remembers who I am, even if I'm totally wrong for the part.

Usually I find the best way to handle that in between phase is to accept that you probably didn't get it and move on.  I have also found that this can be incredibly difficult, especially if you really fell in love with the part and it's a great opportunity.  But usually you don't land it and you have to pull up your bootstraps and search for another audition to distract yourself.

That's why I love NYC auditions.  NYC auditions make you really feel like your searching for new opportunities, even if you know you're totally wrong for the part.  You never know...

So who knows about Act II, I have no idea what their timeline for casting was, or if they are having more auditions, or if they've already selected and called their ensemble.  What I do know is that I had a great audition, and if I didn't get it, there really are a million other opportunities, you just have to look for them.