Embrace the funny...

Officially EMC!

Hello friends!

So yeah that pic is from the other day when I received my EMC card in the mail!  Very exciting for me.  Depending on what type of audition I go to and how they decide to run it, I can get seen before Non-Equity actors.  I've spent the past several years being Non-Eq at EPA calls and it is not fun.  So I'm on my way.

A Little Night Music is about to close in about a week and I'm sad to see it go.  I saw it again on Thursday with my friend Dana and it was of course so good.  I've seen it I think about 8 or 9 times since watching that first run through of Act I which feels like so many months ago.  I'm sad that I won't be going back on, but it really has been a joy watching Karen in that role.  There's so much I can learn from watching her!

These weeks where there is "downtime" are hard.  I've tried to fill it with workshops and other types of work (chores!) and it's hard to get moving sometimes.  I find it's easier to get going when I'm busy busy busy rather than having one or two things to do in a day.  It makes me want to sit around and eat bon bons all day.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but wanting to do that all the time can be troublesome.

So today I'm meeting with my friend Alex Bechtel to help me with a song.  And then I'm working out.  Then I'm definitely doing chores (i.e. cleaning the bedroom I had no time to clean for all of May and most of June...or so I told myself).  And then I'm seeing my friend Josh Hitchens' show: Guilty But Insane.  It's a part of the SoLow festival here in Philadelphia.  SoLow Festival 2013.  This is it's fourth year and it's grown SO MUCH since they started.  My good friend Johnny Smith is doing this piece: My Last Trip to Nowhere Land.  I saw my friend Kevin Meehan's piece Last Meals From Death Row where we ate a conglomeration of different people's last meals.  Yes it was in some ways disturbing but also thought provoking and I feel inspired by my friends and colleagues to explore what I can contribute to this world of art.

I was feeling down the other day and I talked to Peter Schmitz, who is an actor here and he was my monologue coach for grad schools (See: Multiple Focuses at Once...).  He gave me sage advice about creating what I want to and just going ahead and doing it.  So I have ideas for next year's SoLow festival and also just for characters to create.   I find that I don't give myself and my ideas enough credit.  Often I'll have a creative thought and I'll shut it down in my head because I don't think it's "good enough".  But now looking at it through that lens I have to say that that's completely unfair to myself.

I had a someone tell me once, "You're afraid of your own power" and at the time I didn't know what that meant.  But I'm ready.  I feel like I'm ready to take those risks.  For the first time in my adult life I feel secure in myself in who I am.  And I'm ready to try new things.

For example I went to NYC the other day for a Musical Theatre Intensive.  It wasn't really, well I guess you could say it was intense.  It's what they call a "one-on-one" session and the session I attended was with a casting director and a talent agent.

It was scary.  And hard to hear what they had to say, simply because in that world of musical theatre I don't know what I want.  There I said it.  And when they asked me where I think I fit in I didn't know how to answer.  I told them that I was in a transitional spot where I'm not super young but I'm not all that old.  So I feel confused sometimes.  And they said well that's something you need to figure out.  As I sat and thought and watched other people sing their selections I thought....

I'M FUNNY!  I'm a funny woman.  I make people laugh.  And I do it well.

After the sessions were done I went up to the casting director and mentioned that and he said he understood my issue with the age.  "But if you embrace the funny, the roles will come to you".

So this past week after that I've been going for it.  Enough of this wishy washy nonsense, I've been looking specifically at roles on Backstage and Equity and if I think I'm right for it, I submit myself.  I don't try to over think it, I don't try to wonder what they are looking for.  If I think I'm right for it, I submit.  End of story.  So far nothing has come out of that save for an email that said they would pass my information along (success!) but I think it's best for me to fire on all cylinders and tell them, "Hey, I'm this, that, and the other thing.  This is my awesome credit that makes me think I can do this.  I'm available and interested.  Hope we can keep in touch".

One last thought before I throw on clothes and run out the door: If other people can do it, why can't I?

Until next time,

-Cindy

P.S. For another good read from another awesome woman (which is going viral) read my friend Katherine Fritz's blog: i am begging my mother not to read this blog.  Profanity laden wisdom.