Embrace the funny...

Officially EMC!

Hello friends!

So yeah that pic is from the other day when I received my EMC card in the mail!  Very exciting for me.  Depending on what type of audition I go to and how they decide to run it, I can get seen before Non-Equity actors.  I've spent the past several years being Non-Eq at EPA calls and it is not fun.  So I'm on my way.

A Little Night Music is about to close in about a week and I'm sad to see it go.  I saw it again on Thursday with my friend Dana and it was of course so good.  I've seen it I think about 8 or 9 times since watching that first run through of Act I which feels like so many months ago.  I'm sad that I won't be going back on, but it really has been a joy watching Karen in that role.  There's so much I can learn from watching her!

These weeks where there is "downtime" are hard.  I've tried to fill it with workshops and other types of work (chores!) and it's hard to get moving sometimes.  I find it's easier to get going when I'm busy busy busy rather than having one or two things to do in a day.  It makes me want to sit around and eat bon bons all day.  Not that there's anything wrong with that, but wanting to do that all the time can be troublesome.

So today I'm meeting with my friend Alex Bechtel to help me with a song.  And then I'm working out.  Then I'm definitely doing chores (i.e. cleaning the bedroom I had no time to clean for all of May and most of June...or so I told myself).  And then I'm seeing my friend Josh Hitchens' show: Guilty But Insane.  It's a part of the SoLow festival here in Philadelphia.  SoLow Festival 2013.  This is it's fourth year and it's grown SO MUCH since they started.  My good friend Johnny Smith is doing this piece: My Last Trip to Nowhere Land.  I saw my friend Kevin Meehan's piece Last Meals From Death Row where we ate a conglomeration of different people's last meals.  Yes it was in some ways disturbing but also thought provoking and I feel inspired by my friends and colleagues to explore what I can contribute to this world of art.

I was feeling down the other day and I talked to Peter Schmitz, who is an actor here and he was my monologue coach for grad schools (See: Multiple Focuses at Once...).  He gave me sage advice about creating what I want to and just going ahead and doing it.  So I have ideas for next year's SoLow festival and also just for characters to create.   I find that I don't give myself and my ideas enough credit.  Often I'll have a creative thought and I'll shut it down in my head because I don't think it's "good enough".  But now looking at it through that lens I have to say that that's completely unfair to myself.

I had a someone tell me once, "You're afraid of your own power" and at the time I didn't know what that meant.  But I'm ready.  I feel like I'm ready to take those risks.  For the first time in my adult life I feel secure in myself in who I am.  And I'm ready to try new things.

For example I went to NYC the other day for a Musical Theatre Intensive.  It wasn't really, well I guess you could say it was intense.  It's what they call a "one-on-one" session and the session I attended was with a casting director and a talent agent.

It was scary.  And hard to hear what they had to say, simply because in that world of musical theatre I don't know what I want.  There I said it.  And when they asked me where I think I fit in I didn't know how to answer.  I told them that I was in a transitional spot where I'm not super young but I'm not all that old.  So I feel confused sometimes.  And they said well that's something you need to figure out.  As I sat and thought and watched other people sing their selections I thought....

I'M FUNNY!  I'm a funny woman.  I make people laugh.  And I do it well.

After the sessions were done I went up to the casting director and mentioned that and he said he understood my issue with the age.  "But if you embrace the funny, the roles will come to you".

So this past week after that I've been going for it.  Enough of this wishy washy nonsense, I've been looking specifically at roles on Backstage and Equity and if I think I'm right for it, I submit myself.  I don't try to over think it, I don't try to wonder what they are looking for.  If I think I'm right for it, I submit.  End of story.  So far nothing has come out of that save for an email that said they would pass my information along (success!) but I think it's best for me to fire on all cylinders and tell them, "Hey, I'm this, that, and the other thing.  This is my awesome credit that makes me think I can do this.  I'm available and interested.  Hope we can keep in touch".

One last thought before I throw on clothes and run out the door: If other people can do it, why can't I?

Until next time,

-Cindy

P.S. For another good read from another awesome woman (which is going viral) read my friend Katherine Fritz's blog: i am begging my mother not to read this blog.  Profanity laden wisdom.

Getting ready for the summer...

Acting is a weird profession sometimes.

I remember my father saying to me a few weeks ago, "Your life is so different from mine."  My dad's a semi-retired environmental engineer.  I'd say our lives are very different in many many ways.

First of all, I can't do a 9-5.  Tried.  Won't do it ever again.  When I look at my calendar, every day is different.  Sure, there are times when I have weeks of a standardized patient job, but that's usually 4 days a week and for a limited time.  To look at my calendar now and see that in about 6 months I don't have work scheduled yet, doesn't bother me.  Something always comes up, which is dangerous to rely on at times but that's the way it is.

It's taken me 5 years to get comfortable with all of this.  I feel like I just now am getting a grip on my work scheduling, planning the actual work, and my finances.  Getting older has been good to me.

As my friend and mentor Jess Conda once said to me, "It's a very calico lifestyle".  We take work from everywhere and assemble a life out of that.  I'd rather that than a 9-5 any day.  And honestly a full-time job really exhausts me.  I have mad respect for people who can do a full-time gig but also do more on the side.  When I'm working those hours I have a hard time doing what I love (like seeing theatre or even reading) let alone going to the gym and having more work and responsibilities at home.  I turn into a bit of a blob.

This summer, Ed and I are going up to Massachusetts again for our third year of Summer On Stage.  So for work right now, since my Temple SP job just ended for the season, I'm focusing on this as well as doing a few odds and ends (including UPenn SP work and constantly working on A Little Night Music).

We love our summer camp.  The kids are great, the families are fun, and I learn so much.  This year because of schedules we unfortunately cannot be in Massachusetts for 6 weeks like the previous two years.  So this year we pared it down to 3 weeks in total and we are bringing our friends and colleagues Brenna Geffers and Ross Beschler to teach with us.  This is exactly the kind of growth we wanted to move towards.  I think that because we have a shorter amount of time, we won't feel so tired by the end and we can give the kids an even better experience.  And since we have more people, Ed can really focus on his responsibilities as Camp Director and run the camp, instead of having to deal with a bajillion other responsibilities.  That way Ross, Brenna, and I (as well as our Stagecraft teacher, Sam, who's been with us all three years and is amazing) will be able to focus on our classes and rehearsals.  We've learned so much from the past two years that I think this year we'll be able to run it like a well oiled machine (or at least a machine in need of a little WD-40).

Here's our website: www.summeronstage.com

Summer can sometimes be a lonely ghost town for actors.  If you don't book acting summer stock work or a camp gig it can be deadly.  Please tell me if I'm wrong on that because those are really the two jobs I've been able to get in the summer, one of which I had to create in order to get.  Maybe I'm picky...

Anyway, I am off to run some errands.  It's a beautiful day here in Philadelphia.  Hope it's beautiful where you are.

-Cindy

In which you go on as an understudy...

Hello everyone!

This past week (or I should say several weeks) were incredibly busy.  I was working nearly full time as a Standardized Patient at Temple Medical School as well as attending rehearsals and performances for A Little Night Music, seeing other theatre, and going to the gym as much as possible.  Yesterday was my first real day off so I took care of things I've put off like getting a hair cut.

This week in particular was stressful.  But the kind of stress that you hope for as an actor.  The woman I'm currently understudying, the incredible Karen Peakes, got a little sick and needed to go on vocal rest.

Let me set the scene.

So Tuesday night we had our final understudy rehearsal before our full understudy run on Thursday.  Earlier on Tuesday I saw on Karen's facebook that she wasn't feeling well and there were two shows set for Wednesday at 2pm and 6:30pm.  So I thought for good measure I would email the powers that be at The Arden and tell them that while Wednesday's matinee would be my only conflict because of work with Temple, if really need be I would get out of work and make myself available.

Good thing I did.  Later on Tuesday we decided that I was to come in at 9am on Wednesday for a costume fitting and if she was feeling alright for the matinee I would watch the matinee and hang out until I got the word for the evening performance.  I told my boss at Temple and she said it was totally fine and she congratulated me.  So off I went to the Arden Tuesday night for our understudy rehearsal and I slept relatively well until packing a bag for myself and catching a bus to The Arden.

My costume fitting was nerve wracking but fun.  Alison Roberts, the costume supervisor, was so friendly and conversational and made me feel right at home.  The costumes and shoes she pulled were gorgeous and fit me like a glove.  It was my first time really wearing an actual corset (and it was a joy to have my friend and colleague Meredith Boring backstage to lace me up).

So after the fitting I checked in with the assistant director, Sam Tower and we talked for a while about the character and how I can better tell her story.  I sat in The Arden's offices and tried to calm myself, having been on stand by for nearly 20 hours, not knowing definitely if I was going to go on.

Finally, I decided to sit outside and go over my lines and song.  The birds were chirping and it was beautiful outside.  Then around 10:45 I got the call from the stage manager, the lovely John Grassey, saying that it was official: I was going on at 2pm.

The official call.  After that I went backstage, sat on the floor, went over lines even more, and started to cover my tattoo.  I actually didn't really know what to do with myself with that time so having an activity like that was helpful.

About a half hour before "half hour" (the official call time for the actors) we had a "put in" rehearsal.  The cast was amazing.  They all checked in with me and said that if I had any questions or any concerns they would make themselves available.  Ben Dibble, who played my husband Carl-Magnus, took the reigns on the dancing and was SO HELPFUL.  He made me laugh but made sure to let me know that he was there for me.  Everyone did.  I felt like I was walking on air.  Chris Mullen (who plays Fredrik) took me through step by step of our little waltz we do at dinner and he said "we finally get to share the stage with each other".  I was enthralled.  We went through a few scenes with the time we had (which was 30 minutes) and then I was off to get make-up and costumes on (in which I discovered the beautiful Alex Keiper bought me a tasty good luck doughnut!).  There wasn't any time to collect myself so....

...THANK GOD I WAS PREPARED.  We hadn't had the full understudy run yet.  I know my lines verbatim.  My blocking was pretty solid as well.  And what my character was doing was mostly there, though I must admit  I discovered so much on stage.

I was most nervous about the dancing and the singing.  Mostly because it was the first time I had done anything with the full orchestra.  The first time I ran "Every Day A Little Death" with an instrument other than piano was the 2pm matinee.  Yes.  It was terrifying.

What was nice about being prepared was that I met my personal goal.  If I was to go on stage I wanted to go in confident and make sure that no one worried about me.  I wanted to allay the fears as much as possible and with my confidence say "I got this.  No worries".  I also didn't have to worry about what my next line was.  I was in the scenes.  Fully.  It was so fulfilling.

One funny thing that I discovered while on stage were the scenes that we hadn't gone over.  While we were doing them I thought to myself, Oh my gosh...we NEVER went over this in understudy rehearsal. Including the long (and I mean long) kiss at the end of the show.  That just had to do with actor availability.

I did wind up going on for the 6:30pm show as well.  I had so much fun.  It was surreal and exhilarating.  I was up there on The Arden stage.  With my teacher from undergrad, Grace Gonglewski (who plays Desiree) up there with me.  I even got to look her in the eyes during the dinner scene and say "Dearest Miss Armfeldt, do regale us with more fascinating reminiscences from your remote youth".  It was a blast and I couldn't have asked for a better experience.

Ed was able to see the 2pm matinee and afterwards he went downstairs to the greenroom with me and Terry Nolan, the director, was there and he gave me the biggest hug.  I was near tears.  I'm so happy with my experience.

The 6:30 show was completely different, in that the actors backstage were carrying on like it was a normal show.  I'm sure that the first understudy brings on a bit of anxiety, especially since they really had no gauge of how I was going to do.  But the evening performance was deeper for me.  I wasn't nearly as nervous (though the song was still nerve wracking) and I felt so much more "in it".

This was the sign in board backstage.  The question of the day was "How great will Cindy be today?". Of course everyone was so nice (except JAKE BLOUCH!)

My costume for Act I

Grace and I in our dinner attire

Thursday's understudy run went swimmingly.  Everyone did a great job!  A bunch of the cast was there  and Sam and Terry were as well.  Karen was feeling better by Thursday and she went on for that performance.  I'm glad she's feeling better.  Honestly I wouldn't be nearly as deep into the character if I hadn't watched her discover and grow with it over the past month.  She's so talented and I could only hope as an understudy to bring to the character what she brings with such precision and ease.

After our understudy run, when I got the official call that I wouldn't be going on, I went home and slept for 16 hours.  I guess running on pure adrenaline for a 48 hour period will do that to you.

Thank you, Arden Theatre, for giving me the experience of a lifetime.

Until next time, 

-Cindy