Simply the best

First of all, I have to say that having a good audition is a good feeling.

Having a great one, however, is like a natural high: uncontrollable smile, lightness in your step, the occasional "yes!" elbow/arm pump gesture.  Not outwards, but inwards towards myself.  Exciting, warm, almost incoherent to the outside world.

That happened to me yesterday.

I realized recently I've been, dare I say it, afraid to take risks.  For a silly fear of feeling vulnerable.  Sometimes I find myself wondering about why I do this, and recollecting that it's because I want to tell a story, and I want people to remember that they are not alone.  I've felt like I've had a wall up.  Not just towards my career, but also what I watched.

It is time to say good-bye to that.  Because honestly yesterday I had a good audition, then I had a GREAT audition.

So, I went in for a local theater company and when I was towards the end of the side I knew the exact moment that I started to push, and they knew it too.  But I was given some really great direction, it was playable, you know?  After I got their direction, I took a moment.  In that moment something allowed me to relax and just DO the scene.

There's a quote from the movie American Beauty that goes: "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."  During that read I really felt the emotions, for the first time in a long time, and it was exhilarating.  Dare I say, that was a good audition.

After that, I transported myself to another local theater company to sing and maybe read some sides.  Feeling really good about the other audition I strapped on my heels, tossed on some blush, and looked over my lyrics.  The elderly man who was wise-cracking the whole time (it was adorable....and comforting) was impressed by how early I was.  He took me upstairs and I saw the two people in there and I remember in my head saying "I'm going to nail this".  With that confidence I had one of the best auditions of my life.  I don't want to go into too much detail, but they seemed surprised and pleased.

Not knowing whether or not it will come through is difficult about having knock-out auditions.  They could have seen someone much more suited for the role before me, or I may not have been what they were looking for in this particular show.  What I do know is that they will remember me, especially after I send them a "Thank You" in the mail.  All I can do at this point is use that connection to the best of my ability.

Love and all that jazz,
-Cindy