Hey everyone!
I'm at a friend's house babysitting their kid (he's asleep) so I thought I'd take the time to update.
Well, what an audition season...or lack thereof. It's been rough out there in the high tides of the Philly theatre scene. And from what I understand, everyone is feeling the burn.
I decided enough was enough and I am going to find new monologues, slay them, and go to every EPA I can get my hands on. There are several coming up in the next few weeks and I have the time to learn new stuff (which I so desperately need to) so I'm putting my nose to the grindstone and working it.
I did get called in for a show with a company here and I'm looking forward to the audition. The character is unique and I think she'll be fun to work on for the audish. The play has some cliff hangers too. Hopefully things will work out with that. I'll keep you updated.
One thing that I have to keep constantly saying to myself is that I am capable of doing these roles. I've experienced a bit of a let down in my weight loss recently and I've been hard on myself for that. But I really can only take it one day at a time, and find the time to somehow get myself moving every day, even if that means simply taking a walk for an hour. The way I had lost the weight before was looking at my schedule every day and seeing how I could fit it in.
It's not just a change that will last for a few weeks or months, it has to be my habit, my life. Just the same as trying to do something for my career every day. I must admit I fell of the wagon, feeling let down is a drag. But I'm clearing my head and just trying to say "Hey there world! I'm Cindy, this is me, you can take it or leave it".
Sounds cliche. It is. But it's what I need to do to stay confident. Even if it takes writing messages to myself in lipstick on the mirror, or keeping a journal. Whatever it takes. I will succeed in my own way.
That's something I would like to mention, actually. Last night, as I was flipping through a book of Humana Festival plays from 2006, I fell across a picture of an acquaintance of mine, Keira, who is a fantastic actress; edgy, smart, funny, loud. She's the real deal. And she's only 4 years older than I.
I was excited to see Keira's photo in there, but then there was a pang of jealousy. How did she wind up in the 2006 Humana Festival play book at age 24 and here I am almost 27 without a show on the horizon and no EMC credits?
I mustn't compare my life to anyone else's. No one should. In any capacity. It just makes you feel like poo.
For example, I see this all the time at Gymboree. Babies progress differently from each other. I've had mom's cry to me because their 6 month old wasn't crawling yet. Which to be honest is quite a feat for a 6 month old. But it's true; there are babies at 6 months old crawling around and then several mothers with babies months older have children that are still immobile.
Why must we as humans always look at what needs improving? Why can't we stand back and say "Look at what I've created. I am so proud of what I've accomplished."? I want to find that pride again. I want to find that endurance and curiosity again.
Truth be told, I don't know when I'll hit my career "snap". It may be next season, it may be 20 years from now. It may never happen. But I do believe that if I put positivity into the universe, sooner or later positivity will reflect back on me. I truly believe that.
We always hear "life is short" and "carpe diem", and while those sentiments have their value, the theatre world is a world in which we wait. We wait for auditions, we wait to hear (or not hear) back, we wait while we pay our dues, we wait we wait we wait. There really is only so much you can do before you have to step back and allow things to follow their course. You can't control the way a casting director sees you, or if your headshot fell into the right pile. You just have to wait and see. And I think there is something sacred in that.
What I have in my life right now, I wouldn't change for the world. Sure, my career could be better, I could be wearing a size 6. But when I drop all that I see a beautiful boyfriend, a thriving group of friends, my filled calendar, and love.
Still, I suppose for those other things, we'll have to wait and see.
Until next time.
-Cindy
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
It's been too long....
Well there goes my New Years Resolution of staying on top of this blog thing.
In any case, I'll update from here on out.
Monday (May 7th 2012) was a really exciting evening for me. I was able to be a part of Dustin Lance Black's new play "8", which is about the Proposition 8 hearings from 2010. Once the Wilma announced that they were doing a reading with Gavin Creel, I needed to find a way to be a part of it.
I scoured the internet looking for a cast list and all I could find at the time was a list of actors from the NY reading. I became disheartened because all of the female roles were for older women. But finally I saw a picture of a woman who looked about 32 years old. She played the role of the Clerk. I quickly emailed the director of the Wilma reading and said Hey, you know, I'd love to be a part of this, even just reading the stage directions or maybe even possibly the clerk.
Walter emailed me several days later offering me the part. And as Ed said, I was popping my "Wilma cherry". He so graciously bought me a daisy for the occasion.
We rehearsed for 5 hours that same day of the reading and while I only had 5 lines I didn't lose faith in the fact that my character was written and kept in the play for a reason. Without the Clerk you wouldn't have people swearing an oath to tell the truth. Without the Clerk, nobody could officially call the case. So I felt really confident about being there and wanted to make the most of the role.
A lot of my friends were there. Like I've said before, Philadelphia is a hell of a theater town. But I was so thrilled to see their work in front of me, as well as the actors from out of town. I sat in the rehearsal and watched. I said my lines of course, but I simply watched. I wanted to take as much away from the experience as I could.
There was a distinct difference in the NY actors and the Philly actors. I won't go into detail but it was interesting to see the weaknesses and triumphs of each of the groups of actors in how they worked and how they got into the parts.
The house was sold out so being on stage with the tense energy of the play and the truth behind it along with the energy from the crowd was overwhelming. I could see everyone, into the back row. We felt very connected to them. The emotional responses from the text was palpable. It was a beautiful evening.
Moving on from that, a brief update in general, I've had some ups and some downs. Auditions in Philly are few and far between. I nearly had to beg for one audition and apparently I'm not alone. It's difficult also when you don't know if you're going to hear anything at all. I think that's the worst part about it. But big time reality check, usually people don't get the part. It's one out of hundreds and I need to keep that in perspective. My good friend Ross was telling me I should be seriously "backstaging and actor's accessing" and I think that's a brilliant suggestion. I went through a brief period of feeling really horrible about myself. But what it comes down to is, how can I really HELP myself?. That's the big question.
Grad school. I'm applying next fall. To everywhere. I'm saving my pennies so I can afford to pay the application fees. But I'm doing it. Who knows where it will take me! I have a lot more research to do but I'm happy that I've made the decision to make this jump. I really feel that it is time. I WANT MORE.
In other news, Ed and I are getting ready to go up to Massachusetts for the weekend to do a production of MEEP with the kids and some professional actors. When Ed suggested the idea to me back in January, I immediately backed him on it, saying that it was a brilliant idea and it would be a great experience not just for the kids but also the professionals. He's been working hard but the weekend is finally here and it's looking like it's going to be a huge success. We'll take pictures that I can post on here.
Oh yeah and that other little resolution that I made? The whole losing weight thing? I've lost 11 pounds since the summer. My clothing fits so well. I'm eating better and eating less. I'm more active and I feel really confident when I walk into an audition room. I'm so proud.
I must go off, I have errands I must do, but I promise to update more.
Until then.
-Cindy
Monday (May 7th 2012) was a really exciting evening for me. I was able to be a part of Dustin Lance Black's new play "8", which is about the Proposition 8 hearings from 2010. Once the Wilma announced that they were doing a reading with Gavin Creel, I needed to find a way to be a part of it.
 |
| WORK. |
Walter emailed me several days later offering me the part. And as Ed said, I was popping my "Wilma cherry". He so graciously bought me a daisy for the occasion.
We rehearsed for 5 hours that same day of the reading and while I only had 5 lines I didn't lose faith in the fact that my character was written and kept in the play for a reason. Without the Clerk you wouldn't have people swearing an oath to tell the truth. Without the Clerk, nobody could officially call the case. So I felt really confident about being there and wanted to make the most of the role.
A lot of my friends were there. Like I've said before, Philadelphia is a hell of a theater town. But I was so thrilled to see their work in front of me, as well as the actors from out of town. I sat in the rehearsal and watched. I said my lines of course, but I simply watched. I wanted to take as much away from the experience as I could.
There was a distinct difference in the NY actors and the Philly actors. I won't go into detail but it was interesting to see the weaknesses and triumphs of each of the groups of actors in how they worked and how they got into the parts.
 |
| That's me, second in from the right side, with Gavin Creel in the green doin his thang. |
Moving on from that, a brief update in general, I've had some ups and some downs. Auditions in Philly are few and far between. I nearly had to beg for one audition and apparently I'm not alone. It's difficult also when you don't know if you're going to hear anything at all. I think that's the worst part about it. But big time reality check, usually people don't get the part. It's one out of hundreds and I need to keep that in perspective. My good friend Ross was telling me I should be seriously "backstaging and actor's accessing" and I think that's a brilliant suggestion. I went through a brief period of feeling really horrible about myself. But what it comes down to is, how can I really HELP myself?. That's the big question.
Grad school. I'm applying next fall. To everywhere. I'm saving my pennies so I can afford to pay the application fees. But I'm doing it. Who knows where it will take me! I have a lot more research to do but I'm happy that I've made the decision to make this jump. I really feel that it is time. I WANT MORE.
In other news, Ed and I are getting ready to go up to Massachusetts for the weekend to do a production of MEEP with the kids and some professional actors. When Ed suggested the idea to me back in January, I immediately backed him on it, saying that it was a brilliant idea and it would be a great experience not just for the kids but also the professionals. He's been working hard but the weekend is finally here and it's looking like it's going to be a huge success. We'll take pictures that I can post on here.
Oh yeah and that other little resolution that I made? The whole losing weight thing? I've lost 11 pounds since the summer. My clothing fits so well. I'm eating better and eating less. I'm more active and I feel really confident when I walk into an audition room. I'm so proud.
I must go off, I have errands I must do, but I promise to update more.
Until then.
-Cindy
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