Back in the Saddle Again...

Greetings, All!

I have a lot of really exciting news to share with you.  Things have been going well for me since coming back from my amazing and life changing cross country trip...

Grand Canyon!

So, officially, as of Thursday, I have signed the paperwork to become an Equity Membership Candidate!  This is a really exciting step to be taking.  While I was signing the paperwork I had to pause and take in the moment.  I have been working towards this for five years and now finally I have Equity points.  I celebrated with a piece of chocolate.

The reason I actually now have the points is because I'm understudying the lovely and talented Karen Peakes in the upcoming A Little Night Music at The Arden Theatre for the role of Charlotte.  Tonight I'm going to a stumble through of their Act I, and pretty much anytime I have free time available I'll be at their rehearsals.  Musicals can be deceptively difficult and tedious work.  I feel like no matter how much you prepare, you finish one thing, turn around and there's still a million things to do.  But I suppose that's the wonder of musicals, to make it look easy.

This past week since getting back I started doing a 30 smoothie challenge from Simple Green Smoothies and I cannot tell you how amazing I have been feeling!  More energy, I feel full longer, and I am fortifying my body with delicious nutrients from fruits and veggies, something I was severely lacking.  I have also challenged myself along with that to exercise everyday except Sundays (my day of rest).  Within this week I already feel like my life has changed.  Seriously, I think everyone should try to do the upcoming 30 day challenge in June.  Their smoothies taste amazing.

Also this week I was doing a mini school tour with BCKSEET Productions.  Every year they get a grant and put together a program called "Class Act" in which they use professional actors and bring plays to schools.  We did an all-women cast version of Julius Caesar and I had the magnificent opportunity to play Mark Antony.  It has reignited my love for that play.  Or I should say it has simply ignited it.  I read it out loud my sophomore year of high school and I remember watching a dour version of it in class as well.  I remember Portia's scenes were dimly lit and it was pretty boring.

JULIUS CAESAR ROCKS!  What a PLAY!  The Language!  Wow.  "Until then, think of the world."  That was the line while re-reading it this time around really snagged me.  I guess since my bad experience in high school I was turned off by it, but now that I am really proficient with the language of Shakespeare in general I am able to appreciate it more.  It was also helpful to hear it read out loud by amazingly talented actresses (Sarah Doherty, Catherine Palfeiner, Kate Brennan, Sarah Schol, Amy Hume, Mary Lee Bednarek, Jennifer Summerfield) and not high schoolers who stop at the end of every line.  It again reminded me of how much I love this community here.

Today I go back to rehearse with BCKSEET for a reading of a play called Bullyrag by Molly Lang.  This is sponsored in part by the Ani Fund, and part of that goes towards a scholarship through BCKSEET that goes directly to young artists.  It's inspiring to see artists my age doing such thoughtful and innovative work.  The reading is happening May 12th at 5pm at The Adrienne Theatre.

That's about it for now.  Ed and I are gearing up for summer camp and we are very excited!  Looking forward to another awesome summer with awesome kids.  They always teach me something.

Be well, world and until next time...

-Cindy

Road Trippin...

Hello all!

Just a quick update to let you know what's going on with me!  The past week my boyfriend and I road tripped across the USA to our final stop in LA where we've spent the past two days and we have two more days to hang out here before we head back to Philadelphia.  It's been nice to hit the reset button and I have seen and experienced so many new and wonderful things since being on my trip.

I saw the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, went back to Hagafen Winery in Napa, saw my friend Chris in San Francisco, went camping in Arkansas, ate delicious food in Oklahoma City and Nashville, went to a spin and yoga class here in LA...the list goes on and on.  I have had an amazing journey.  When I get back to Philly, it's back in the saddle and pounding that pavement.  But I definitely needed to step back and smell the roses a bit.

We must do what we want to do with our lives.  I want to travel.  And I mean travel everywhere.  I've seen so much but there is still so much more I want to see.  And there are places I want to go back to.  But you know, this experience has taught me that with patience and planning, anything is possible.  If you want to drive across the country, you can figure it out and you can do it.  I guess that also applies to everything in life as well.

When I'm back in Philly I'm jumping right into rehearsal for an all woman-cast reading of Julius Caesar and I have an audition among some opening nights and such.  I'm also going to start a 30 day green smoothie challenge to again hit that reset button and push myself.  I haven't given my career or my life my all yet.  I'm ready to do that.

Tomorrow I'm shooting a potential commercial for a weed killer with Ed and his friend Jhon.  And then we're gonna see The Walk of Fame and the Chinese Theatre a bit more closely.  And the beach.  We cannot forget the beach.

I'll post choice photos of the trip when I get back into town.

Cheers

-Cindy

Do Not Say "I Know"...

Where do I begin with my 5 day experience with Jean Rene?

Let me start with this: The Primitive Voice.

So The Wilma Theatre asked me to do a 5 day workshop with Jean Rene Toussaint, Blanka Zizka, and Paula Vogel.  That's right.  All those awesome, inspiring people plus more in one room for five days.  Of course I jumped at the opportunity and stripped my schedule of as many conflicts as possible.

Five days.  9-5.  Hardcore voice, physical, and emotional work.  Bring it.

His workshop has transformed me, as a human and actor.  I was given license to immerse my whole being into exercises that opened my imagination and allowed me to "go there" without ever caring about what other people were thinking.  Because everyone else in the room "goes there" too.  I found that by the end of the workshop many of my inhibitions had simply gone away.

By the end of the workshop, I felt like I could do anything.

I fell face first into people's arms from 5 feet in the air.  I explored asymmetry in my body.  I know what it means to release and unlock where I hold tension in my body.  I gazed deeply into the eyes of a friend and lived out stories. I inhaled my boyfriend's spirit and recognized him as one does with a mirror.  I created language and communicated.  I dared myself to rely on the hands and support of others.

This blog post is titled what it is because of a truth that Jean Rene said.  Many people, Americans especially, have a tendency to say "I know" as soon as someone says something true about them.  It is a way of staving off vulnerability and to not actually listen and allow yourself to hear what that person is saying.  He also mentioned we say "interesting" a lot as well, even when we don't find it all that interesting.

I know (see what I did there?) that I definitely do that.  When he would come up to me and tell me something about the way I move or the way that I'm holding back my voice I would initially feel defensive.  But I would take his advice for the next exercise and my work always grew.  I GREW in ways that I never thought I could grow.  I heard sounds coming out of body that, when he gave me the slightest adjustment, would in an instant change and become deeper.  Often I would be touched inside and an unknown emotion would spurt out of me.  It was really incredible to experience.

That's the other aspect of the workshop.  It was simply about experience.  It wasn't about manufacturing sound or movement, it was about allowing it to grow and become organically.  It was about being.  Nothing felt rushed about any of the exercises because he knew what it took.  Did I mention he's been doing this for 30 years?  Yeah he knows what he's doing.

Of course it's impossible for me to completely sum up my whole adventure for you and there are a lot of experiences I had that I don't want to share.  Because they are mine and they are precious to me,  to that room, and to that group of people.  But I would say that even if you aren't a theatre artist, if you have an opportunity, take a workshop and open yourself up to possibility within.  You are more powerful than you ever could have imagined.

Till next time...

-Cindy

Working working working...

WOW I have so any things to share!

I'll get the muck out of the way, grad school 2013 is a no go.  But it's okay.  I've learned so much from that experience that I couldn't have learned otherwise.  Going through it all was essential for the reawakening of my artistry.  And I am a better actor and person for it.  Go me.

This reminds me of when I was in high school and we went to see Thoroughly Modern Millie on Broadway with my theatre class (yes I had a theatre AND theatre II class in high school).  We met the actress who at the time was basically the perpetual understudy for Sutton Foster.  Not only had this woman understudied her in TMM, but also Little Women and....there was another show that was Off-Broadway that of course now I can't recall what it was.  Anyway, we did a workshop with this woman and she said, and I'll never forget it, "You have to be your own cheerleader at times".  So true.  Other people will bring you up and give you great feedback and make you feel great, but it's YOU who carries on.  No one can do that for you.

Since grad school "shopping" as I'll call it, SO many wonderful things have happened in my life.  I've been making money (YAY!) doing a lot of SP work which is great because the hours aren't all that hellish and I can pay my bills and even save a little money.

About a month ago I was in a bad place.  Very pessimistic, I did not like what I was becoming.  So I decided to help myself.  I went on Backstage.com and looked up studios that hold classes, workshops, whatever.  I looked for about two solid hours at different studios, a lot of which piqued my interest.  But there was one, The John DeSotelle studio that was holding a "Biz of the Biz" workshop with a woman named Mari Lyn Henry who wrote the book "How To Be A Working Actor".  The workshop, which was totally affordable, covered simple things like the cover letter, resume organizing, headshots, budgeting, interviews, clothing, etc.  I decided that was the best way to get back into it.  Some refreshing needed to be done.  So I signed up.

Then it was serendipity because I also wound up getting two auditions that weekend as well.  Then with the free time I had I rented a studio at Ripley Grier for two hours and worked on pieces and my Brat Shit Crazy piece (I'll get into that in a minute).  It was a wonderful NYC experience.

So the workshop.  First off let me just say that Mari Lyn Henry is a lovely person.  Her criticisms come from love.  She wants people to succeed.  Never was she nasty, but she was honest.  She holds herself in high regard and I felt that I should begin doing the same.  The workshop also wasn't a "BUY MY BOOK" type of thing, it was her trying to help poor young actors at John's studio find a way.  Oh, but I am buying her book.

Mari Lyn worked at ABC in casting for close to 15 years and she's done casting, image and career counseling for close to 25 years.  So I trusted what she had to say.  While I thought some of her ideas sounded old fashioned, she wouldn't say them unless they were tried and true.  Which they are.  So I stand corrected.

Mari Lyn's Website

I think my favorite part of the workshop was having our outfit critiqued.  While it felt like the 7th circle of hell standing in front of everyone and having them look at me, I am forever grateful to her for waking me up and getting me to realize what my body shape truly is and how I can better dress it.  She believes in simplicity.

We did color testing with colored fabric and I realized what my ideal colors are for dresses and shirts.  What an eye opening experience that was!  I think I've always been a little self conscious about my body so I've always worn black.  Well not anymore, sister!  This girl is wearing colors from here on out!  Pinks, blues, greens, jewel tones.  I can't wait to get myself a new little wardrobe.

Basically, I needed a career and image overhaul and I got one.  I also made new connections with Mari Lyn and also John DeSotelle who is a teacher of Meisner Technique and seemed interested in having me check out his classes.  Now the next step is figuring out how to move forward.

John DeSotelle Studio

The auditions went very well.  I found out I didn't get one of them but something interesting happened when I found out: I didn't cry or feel horrible about myself.  Because I was doing other things to help my career and I was forward thinking, while it sucks to not get a job I didn't feel like I was starting from zero.  It was like an existential experience for me.

I also just finished working on Brat. Shit. Crazy. II at the Trestle Inn.  Basically it's a night of raw, new work and after it's presented the audience gets asked for feedback in between each act.  Tonight was the second night and for some reason I was more nervous than last night.  It may have been because two of my best friends, Sarah Schol and Jeremy Gable were in the audience.  But the performance was really great and I definitely think that now it has a life ahead of it.  I will draw upon some of my greatest inspirations: People and experiences that I love.

Let's see, what else.  Oh!  I've been asked to participate in a workshop at a theatre company here in town (I don't know if I am able to post details about it until afterwards) but it's a vocal workshop with some very important people and I am just thrilled and cannot wait to dive in.  I'm also doing a play workshop out in the 'burbs (again not sure about sharing at this point), but I'll keep you updated.  Possible play reading casting on the horizon as well.

 The gym and I are still friends, Eddy and I are getting ready to go away for a bit in April (cross country!  what WHAT!), and I've been cooking more.  So all wonderful things going on in my life.

I love you all and I'll update soon.

xo

-C

What's In A Name?

Really quick update before I go to work...

So I've been stuck in this no cast zone for a while now, sometimes I find it hard to get a callback.  Recently I've received what feels like a gazillion rejection emails (...really it's been about 6) and it's gotten me thinking...

What qualifies me as a "working actor"?

For the longest time, as long as I can remember since deciding to go for this business, I threw off the idea of classes, readings, auditions for the sake of auditions, coaching, creating my own work, writing, reading...

WHY!?  How dumb can a twenty-something BE!?

Well, I've learned my lesson the hard way.  I'm rusty and not as connected as I'd like to be.  I'm going to change my mantra.  It's about the craft, my art.  It's not about getting cast (though that certainly is a nice feeling when it happens) it's about the work, the creation, the imagination.  So now I ask the question, how do I become the artist that I want to be?

First, I am going to create my own work.  I am presenting a small piece with Brat Shit Crazy II in two weeks and we'll see what happens from there.  I'll be posting more information about that on my website (www.cindyspitko.com)

I think I've been afraid, scared to truly put myself out there.  I had someone tell me once that I was afraid of my own power.  It's time to own my power, put on my thinking cap and dancing shoes, and let's get to work.  I am open and available for new classes, new ideas, and new ways of thinking.

Let's go.

-Cindy

The Calico Life...

Hey there!

So readjusting to not thinking and working on grad school auditions has been more uncomfortable that I thought.  Actually it didn't really ever enter my mind.  But to go from thinking about it and working on it nearly every day to having to push it out of your thoughts completely is challenging.  Though, I've never been good with change...and yet I crave it.

Oh my that sounds melodramatic.  How very "actory" of me to feel that way.  But it's the truth, I really feel a little empty.

One thing that has come out of this whole experience is I feel like I'm a better actor for it.  Especially in terms of my Shakespeare scansion.  The Shakespeare monologues felt like they popped for me in the rooms.  And since then I've auditioned for two Shakespeare productions and I really felt like the language came easier to me.  Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I've been reading and studying Shakespeare since I was in 6th grade.  Something about having to look up words in a dictionary while I read excited me.  It felt like a puzzle.  I even went to Shakespeare camp.  For four years.

But I never really felt like the language clicked with me, not completely.  I always felt like there was something I wasn't locking into.  Working with my boyfriend, Ed Swidey, helped me tremendously, especially the week before the auditions.  We worked a few times and I broke through, which I think afforded me decent auditions this year.

This leads me to tell you an update in general about what's happening.  I've been working a lot as a Standardized Patient, and Ed and I are beginning to figure out where we are going to go on our vacation we are taking in April.  I've had some auditions for upcoming work, and I'm looking forward to some as well.  The gym and I have been friends and I've been cooking a lot more.  I've found that when I want to procrastinate, I cook, whereas before I would have sat around and did nothing.

Life is really wonderful.  Sometimes I get hung up on the rejection side of this business (I suppose we all do?).  But I'm living the life I want to live.  Truly.

So two nights ago I spent about three hours with my Dad and my step-mom because they sing in the Mendelssohn Club of Philadelphia and they had a concert last night in a beautiful cathedral along with The Black Pearl Chamber Orchestra.  It was beautiful and inspiring.  I loved being in there and hearing Beethoven.  I found myself thinking during the concert that Beethoven must have been considered a rock star in his time.  His music was so different and at times unsettling and then it moves into comfort and praise.  He was brilliant and I like to imagine what it must have been like to have been at the the premiere of Symphony No. 9.

The conductor of the orchestra was this stunning woman who came into the room and owned it.  I've never been more inspired by watching a conductor before.  You could hear her sometimes taking a quick inhale in the silence before blasting the hall with loud and boisterous music.  I felt like I was at a rock concert.  I grew up going to see the Philadelphia Orchestra but this was new and fresh.  I loved it.

My parents came in after the intermission with the whole choir...

Mendelssohn Club with the BPCO

Also about a week ago I did a little act for the EgoPo "Phollies" night with my dear friend, Sarah Schol.  We did a "singing sisters" act but we portrayed these washed up, kind of terrible performers.  It was really invigorating to write our own piece and have it be successful.  We sang little bits of songs, danced some Charleston, and got off stage.  In my opinion, it was a glorious, odd, and wondrous night of entertainment.  There was even a strong man act.  And a ukelele.  And opera.  And a one man band.

Sarah and Cindy the Singing Sisters!

It's going to be a lot more wait-and-see for me in the next few weeks.  But I'll keep you updated.

Love to all.

-Cindy

So there was that time I auditioned for grad schools...

Hello all!

So, for the past two weeks I've been auditioning for grad schools!  My my what an experience.  If anything, I can say that I've learned a lot through this whole process.  Here are my thoughts...

First of all, it's mad expensive.  First applying and then actually getting to the auditions.  I met so many great people over the course of the few weeks and I talked with them about their experiences.  There was a young woman named Cricket that I met in New York and I mentioned that I felt really bad for people who were coming up from Florida or Texas, my goodness it must be massively expensive for them.  A lot of the schools have the bulk of their auditions in NYC and then a few days in Chicago and California.  That's it!  I imagine a lot of the applicants get their applications in early so they can get first choice on audition slots.

Secondly, you really have one shot and that's it.  And by one shot I mean four minutes with two contrasting monologues.  Each of the schools run their auditions completely differently, so you need to be up for anything they throw at you.  Some of the schools don't do callbacks, some of them do.  Of the ones that do, some of them let you know right away and others make you wait, some of them call back a bunch of people and others.....don't.  The bottom line is, as soon as you walk in, you don't really have a second chance.  THAT is your chance.  And man do you have to be on it.

Third, you really never know how it's going to go.  You can rip apart a monologue in a practice room and then walk into the audition and flop miserably.  While I don't feel like that happened to me, I did have a different experience in each of the audition rooms.  For the most part I did the same two audition pieces that I feel really good about.  Two pieces that I know I can jump into and "lock-in" so to speak.  All-in-all, I had five solid monologues that if asked I could do any of them.  But I stuck with the two in all the audition rooms and each time it was TOTALLY different.  In one audition, I felt better about my Shakespeare than I ever had, but it was the first time ever in my life that I felt like my contemporary wasn't "there".  It was eerie.  Yet all the same, it's human experience.  Like I said, you need to be on as best as you can be.

Fourth, I learned a lot about my own process.  I now know that I definitely need to go through audition pieces the day of, full voice, in a private room.  That way it feels fresh but also in my body.  I feel well rehearsed and not rusty when I do that.  And usually I discover something new about the monologue.

Finally, traveling can by yourself can be lonely and auditioning for grad programs is easily one of the most stressful things I've ever gone through.  It's always good to have an outlet and see people you love that you haven't seen in a while.  I stayed with my awesome and supportive friend Chrissy who is in grad school herself at The New School.  I saw my friend Tom in Queens who I grew-up across the street from.  And I ran into my friend Dan from high school, and my friend Jamal from college at the same audition. And on the way home on the Megabus, who do I see but my good friend Ryan from Philly coming back from his auditions too.

Hamilton's in Brooklyn

Chrissy in Hamilton's

One of my best friends, Tom and kitty Q-tip, both of whom I've known since 4th grade.

Ryan and I on the Megabus (....he looks crazed...)

My advice for anyone thinking about doing this: be wise and budget your time and money well, be yourself, and trust the vibes you get from the auditions.  If you feel like it went well, then it probably did.  And sometimes, you'll get a good vibe from a school and your friend doesn't.  It just means that every program isn't for everyone.

My final point, as Ron Van Lieu, the Chair of the Yale School of Drama said, everyone who wants to be an actor will be an actor.  PREACH.

And now?  We wait.

-Cindy

P.S. If you see Paul Giamatti just chillin in the hallway at your audition, don't try to engage him in conversation, just politely offer a Girl Scout cookie (as I did) and go on your merry way.