So there was that time I auditioned for grad schools...

Hello all!

So, for the past two weeks I've been auditioning for grad schools!  My my what an experience.  If anything, I can say that I've learned a lot through this whole process.  Here are my thoughts...

First of all, it's mad expensive.  First applying and then actually getting to the auditions.  I met so many great people over the course of the few weeks and I talked with them about their experiences.  There was a young woman named Cricket that I met in New York and I mentioned that I felt really bad for people who were coming up from Florida or Texas, my goodness it must be massively expensive for them.  A lot of the schools have the bulk of their auditions in NYC and then a few days in Chicago and California.  That's it!  I imagine a lot of the applicants get their applications in early so they can get first choice on audition slots.

Secondly, you really have one shot and that's it.  And by one shot I mean four minutes with two contrasting monologues.  Each of the schools run their auditions completely differently, so you need to be up for anything they throw at you.  Some of the schools don't do callbacks, some of them do.  Of the ones that do, some of them let you know right away and others make you wait, some of them call back a bunch of people and others.....don't.  The bottom line is, as soon as you walk in, you don't really have a second chance.  THAT is your chance.  And man do you have to be on it.

Third, you really never know how it's going to go.  You can rip apart a monologue in a practice room and then walk into the audition and flop miserably.  While I don't feel like that happened to me, I did have a different experience in each of the audition rooms.  For the most part I did the same two audition pieces that I feel really good about.  Two pieces that I know I can jump into and "lock-in" so to speak.  All-in-all, I had five solid monologues that if asked I could do any of them.  But I stuck with the two in all the audition rooms and each time it was TOTALLY different.  In one audition, I felt better about my Shakespeare than I ever had, but it was the first time ever in my life that I felt like my contemporary wasn't "there".  It was eerie.  Yet all the same, it's human experience.  Like I said, you need to be on as best as you can be.

Fourth, I learned a lot about my own process.  I now know that I definitely need to go through audition pieces the day of, full voice, in a private room.  That way it feels fresh but also in my body.  I feel well rehearsed and not rusty when I do that.  And usually I discover something new about the monologue.

Finally, traveling can by yourself can be lonely and auditioning for grad programs is easily one of the most stressful things I've ever gone through.  It's always good to have an outlet and see people you love that you haven't seen in a while.  I stayed with my awesome and supportive friend Chrissy who is in grad school herself at The New School.  I saw my friend Tom in Queens who I grew-up across the street from.  And I ran into my friend Dan from high school, and my friend Jamal from college at the same audition. And on the way home on the Megabus, who do I see but my good friend Ryan from Philly coming back from his auditions too.

Hamilton's in Brooklyn

Chrissy in Hamilton's

One of my best friends, Tom and kitty Q-tip, both of whom I've known since 4th grade.

Ryan and I on the Megabus (....he looks crazed...)

My advice for anyone thinking about doing this: be wise and budget your time and money well, be yourself, and trust the vibes you get from the auditions.  If you feel like it went well, then it probably did.  And sometimes, you'll get a good vibe from a school and your friend doesn't.  It just means that every program isn't for everyone.

My final point, as Ron Van Lieu, the Chair of the Yale School of Drama said, everyone who wants to be an actor will be an actor.  PREACH.

And now?  We wait.

-Cindy

P.S. If you see Paul Giamatti just chillin in the hallway at your audition, don't try to engage him in conversation, just politely offer a Girl Scout cookie (as I did) and go on your merry way.

Don Juan Comes Back From The War...

Brief post because I have a lot to do...

Last night I was involved in a reading at The Wilma Theatre with the most amazing women!  Women that I trust and respect (and admittedly fall over....*ahem* Paula Vogel *ahem*).

We did a reading of a play by Odon Van Horvath called Don Juan Comes Back From The War.  Paula mentioned that it was a play she read 40 years ago and she had never seen it performed.  Which I don't really know why because A: It has women's roles out the wazoo and B: It's a really good play.

Catherine Slusar, Paula Vogel, and Me!

So we'll see where the play takes it's journey with the Pulitzer Prize winning mind of Ms. Vogel.  I should mention that quite clearly the woman is dedicated and smart, but she's sweet and kind.  When I asked her if I could get a picture with her, she smiled and said, "Could I get a picture with you?"

I must be off I have many things to take care of.

Be well world.  Tomorrow, I am off to New York for three of my four auditions for grad school.  Please send me good thoughts.

-Cindy

"The Amish Project" thoughts...

  About a year ago, Ed had a play produced by Simpatico Theatre Project, a small yet ballsy theatre company here in Philly.  It was the world premiere of his show The Meep Project and I was in it.  Since then, we've had an alliance with the company and we try our best to be at every opening night to show our support.

  On Thursday we went to see their remount of the harrowing The Amish Project by Jessica Dickey, as performed by Janice Rowland and directed by James Stover.  It is a co-production with The Renegade Company.

Janice Rowland in The Amish Project
Photo by Kate Raines & Plate 3 Photography

  In 2011 The Renegade Company produced The Amish Project over at Society Hill Playhouse and it was a hit.  I'm so happy that they decided to remount it, especially in the times America is steeped in right now.

  Some background:  The Amish Project (which I think is a take-off of the title The Laramie Project...except with better writing) is a response to the 2006 school house shooting in Lancaster, PA.  A man named Charles Roberts went in at about 10:30 in the morning, ordered the boys and teachers out of the building, and shot ten girls, aged 6-13, execution style and then shot himself.  About half of the girls died either immediately or they were taken off life support later at Hershey Medical.  The rest of them suffered serious injuries but luckily it seems most of them have recovered well.

  The story in The Amish Project is that and more, tales from the perspectives of people in the town, Roberts' wife, the little girls, and even Roberts himself.  All of these characters and more were strikingly performed by Janice Rowland, a local Philadelphia actress.

  I remember in 2011 when I saw the piece being deeply moved by her honest characterizations and storytelling but this performance was deeper, richer and more somber.  She was stoic when she portrayed the wife of Roberts, jovial with the 16-year-old high school student named America, disturbed when playing Roberts, and inquisitive with the Amish children.  With simplicity and ease she drifted between one character to another, allowing the moment to settle before moving on to the next.  She knew when to make the audience laugh, and when to allow us to steep in the moment. Janice blew me away.

  I am always so happy when I see my girlfriends on stage and I learn from them.  There are so many examples, even from just this current season: Mary Tuomanen in Pookie Goes Grenading, Kate Czajkowski in Angels in America, Kim Carson in Aladdin: A Musical Panto, Krista Apple in The Creditors.  The list goes on and on.  I watch these amazing women on stage and I learned from them, their techniques, their listening, their characterizations, their story telling.  And I am happy to put Janice on this list as well.  And this isn't even counting all the shows I've seen the past 6-7 years I've been seeing theatre in Philadelphia.

Mary, Kim, Kate, Krista...
WORK.

  So now it's 2013 and we've lived through another horrific school shooting in Newtown, Conn.  Seeing this play now was different than seeing it 2 years ago.  It was fresh and made me realize how actually current, important, and dire this situation is in our country.

  The other day, whilst rehearsing for a reading at The Wilma, a bunch of us ladies were sitting around and talking about the shooting.  My one friend mentioned that she had daydreams of sitting somewhere and someone with a gun comes blazing in and shoots the whole place up.  I concurred, as did several of the other women.

  It doesn't seem as though much has changed since Bowling for Columbine came out 11 years ago.  We do live in a nation of fear and fear-mongering by the media and I can't help but think that everything is fueled by money.  It's all about gain and no one regards loss.  I really don't understand why people in positions of power cannot take a breath and realize what they say and do effects everyone, not just their capital gains.  All for the word: "freedom".  Our freedom has bitten us in the butt and now we live in a country where guns are so normalized that people proudly pose for family photographs with hand guns and semi-automatics.  And yes I disagree with it.

  What this show taught me is that now we really need to do something.  Because every day there is another report of someone either permanently or intermittently or temporarily psychologically imbalanced grabbing a gun or several guns from their family's arsenal and gunning down a public area for no reason.  Not only do we have a problem with guns in our country, but we we have reached a point of contention in the mental health debate.  Seeing a therapist doesn't mean your weak, it shows you are strong and not afraid to face what ails you.

  I don't know what to do about it, I feel really lost and if someone out there has any suggestions for what to do please message me or post in my comments section.

  Back to The Amish Project: Go see it and be moved by a beautiful piece of theatre.  You will not regret it.  You may learn something, I certainly did.

Until next time...

-Cindy

**Photo Credits: Johanna Austin for Pookie, the other three I could not find so if you know please tell me and I'd be happy to put their credit on here. **

Multiple focuses at once...

Well, it's official.  All of my auditions for grad school are scheduled.  Officially, I have applied and officially, I am auditioning and being considered for school.

WOW.

I'm trying to take the day and just relax because since November I've been running non-stop.  I really haven't had a break.  So today I'm trying to just breathe, relax, maybe I'll take a walk in a bit or go to a yoga class.  Ed got me a 90 minute hot stone massage for Christmas so I think I'll use that before I go to NYC to audition.  It's in two weeks.  My auditions are in two weeks.

Yesterday I met with my acting coach, Peter Schmitz who I HIGHLY recommend if you need monologue work of any kind.  Peter has given me excellent advice, advice that I know I'll carry with me past these auditions. 

Peter Schmitz in Fargo

His LinkedIn Profile

I have one last meeting with him and then it's off to the auditions a week after that.  My meeting with him yesterday really helped me get past all of my normal fears.  Peter has taught me again that I just need to buy into the scene.  If I believe it, they'll believe it.  There's nothing silly about that.

So now I'm in the midst of having to send out more headshots/resumes because if I don't get into school I need to be sure I'll get into some important auditions this coming season.  People are already starting to say that they have work for next season so I need to get on it.  I feel more confident about myself than I did a year ago and it's only growing.  I know I'll look really good for auditions, but if I do get called back I'll look even better.  My healthy habits are finally paying off.

I don't know what I'm going to do with myself the rest of the day but I'm definitely going to relax and take a load off before these upcoming stressful weeks.  I'll keep ya updated.

Until next time...

-Cindy

Characters live on...

This morning I was greeted with a text from Whit MacLoughlin, the Artistic Director of New Paradise Laboratories.  He told me there was an article that was in American Theatre Magazine about Fatebook and all the other "online" shows he's done, along with some other theatre companies in NYC.

My picture is in it!

http://newyorktheater.me/2013/01/03/social-media-on-stage-theater-meets-twitterfacebookyoutube-tumbler-soundcloud/

The character I created was this ominous, dark, witch-like type.  She wasn't angry, she was above it all.  This was over three years ago and Julia is still living on in cyberspace.

Falling.

http://www.fatebooktheshow.com

http://www.fatebooktheshow.com/julia.php

With Nhut Le and Rachel Radenberg
Images by Jorge Cousineau

Now I'm heading off to be a standardized patient with Temple University Medical School.  Today I am portraying "Chase", a transgendered man.  After that I'm going for a quick work out at the gym.  Then I'm seeing the opening of "Assistance", the new Leslye Headland piece at The Wilma Theatre.  Leslye wrote the play "Bachelorette" that I saw last year and I loved it.  I've read "Assistance" and I even auditioned for it so I feel like I have a close connection with it...even though I guess technically I don't. I really relate to her characters, more so than any other playwright.  I'm serious.  She writes for our generation.  I feel like she has helped usher in this new wave of twenty-something artists.  She write for our ears.  She doesn't make us feel guilty for being the first generation with computers and cell phones. She seems to simply write what she knows.  I appreciate that.

Leslye has inspired me.  And hopefully she'll be there tonight so I can tell her.

-Cindy

Okay finally...an update.

Happy 2013!

I have had a request to start this up again, and with all the things going on in my life I figured it's time.  Getting back into something like this is kind of like getting back into the gym, or finally going through all those college papers you've kept: by the time you get to it, you're kind of embarrassed how long it took you to get to it.

So to recap my life since the last time I updated.  Ed and I went up to Massachusetts to run our 6 week summer camp, Summer On Stage.  It was hard work and there were a few times I felt like I was going to lose my mind.  We had over 40 kids in each three-week session, nearly tripling our enrollment from 2011.  Luckily, we had amazing helpers from local middle schools and high schools who volunteered their time with us and our Lead Teen Apprentice was fantastic.  Ed and I wound up writing her a college recommendation and she has already received a letter from Emerson in the Communications department.  Unfortunately, Ed and I didn't get much of a summer to relax and we spent a week longer after the camp than we thought because of how much we needed to go through, repaint, and organize.  We were exhausted and I never knew so much manual labor would go into running a summer theatre camp.  In any case, we learned our lesson and in the future we will make smarter decisions regarding our schedule and sanity.

In no way do I regret it.  We had an amazing summer with the kids, our shows were the best they've ever been, and we even had our first new musical of the camp that was a hit.  The kids learned and grew.  We learned and grew.  I really felt like my teaching flourished and I matured a lot.  All in all, a great experience.

I wound up getting cast in a new musical with the company BCKSEET Productions, written by the incredibly talented Kate Brennan.  The cast was AMAZING: Sarah Doherty, Jeremy Gable, Maria Konstantinidis, and Craig Bazan.  The director, Brandon McShaffrey, is one of the best directors I've ever worked with.  Ever.  We started rehearsals mid-November and we opened 12.12.12. and ran through the holiday season to the 29th.  We were fortunate enough to have a full pit orchestra, with piano, drums, violin, cello, and even a French horn.  The sound was glorious and our audiences just loved it.

From L to R: Maria Konstandindis, Sarah Doherty, Jeremy Gable, Me, Craig Bazan

Ed was also involved in the holiday Panto at People's Light and Theatre Co in Malvern.  PLTC is no stranger to the Panto, this being their 9th season of doing it, but this one was exceptionally different, being the first time it was written by the two directors Pete Pryor and Sam Bellomo.  They also invited new people to join in on the Panto goodness and Ed was fortunate enough to play the villain character, Fu.  If you don't know what a Panto is, it's a traditional style of British holiday show, where the audience is encouraged the cheer the protagonist, and boo the villain.  There's usually at least one man in drag, and a fair amount of "cheeky" humor is involved.  I've seen other Pantos at PLTC, but I must say, and I know I'm biased, but this one has been my favorite so far.

My work as a standardized patient has grown and I'm still working at Gymboree.  I'm doing stuff on the side, for instance this year I worked as a Dickensian Villager in Macy's Santaland.  My dear friend Mark posted on Facebook that they were looking for more villagers and I definitely didn't mind the extra money and I certainly had to time in December, so I took that on and I HAD A BLAST.

I would say 98% of the people that go through Dicken's Village are the sweetest, warmest people.  They wish you a Merry Christmas and happy holidays, they tell you you look pretty, sometimes it can get pretty emotional in there, seeing that the story of A Christmas Carol is pretty sad and disturbing at times.  The best was spending time with the diverse group of coworkers I had.  Some people had been doing it for years, where other people this was their first or second year.  For those of you who don't know what Dicken's Village is, it's the animatronic storytelling of A Christmas Carol and it's only at Macy's in Philadelphia.  At the end, you can meet Santa.  The costume I wore was very nicely made and authentic looking.  It was so much fun and I look forward to the next time I get to do it.

Blitzen!

Inside Dicken's Village

So the big news: I've been applying to graduate school.  I don't want to post too much about it because I'm kind of superstitious about it and I don't want to announce anything until I actually get into a school (that is, hopefully get in).  I've been working with my old acting professor, Mark Wade and I've also been meeting with an actor and coach Peter Schmitz.  I've gotten amazing feedback from them both and I'm feeling really confident about my auditions.  I need to do a lot more work, but I have a solid structure under me.  More on that to come.

Not everything has been good since I last updated.  My dear friend, Reuben Mitchell, passed away in a motorcycle accident on November 12th.  I'm still struggling with it and I know I will be for a long while.  Reuben had come over to my place to day before he passed away, we ate food and hung out for a while, and I helped him with his website.  I'm still devastated.  Our community is devastated.  Reuben was a fine young talent and was growing and growing.  I first worked with Reubs on the Hamlet School Tour with Philly Shakespeare when he first came into town about two and a half years ago.  I share so many memories and experiences with him that it's hard to think that I'll never be able to make more memories with him again.  I'm completely heartbroken about it and sometimes I'm not really sure what to do with myself when I get overrun with grief.  Thankfully this town and my boyfriend and my dear friends all know and understand how I feel and we will get through it.  Perhaps we won't ever get over it, but we will get through it.

In Theatre Exile's production of "A Behanding in Spokane", from L to R: Pearce Bunting, Reuben, Amanda Schoonover

Ed and I finished out 2012 with a bang, celebrating the marriage between our friends Krista Apple and Dan Hodge.  They had a glorious ceremony that we could all be a part of, it ended with a music surprise, and we danced and talked all night.  The new year came, we kissed and celebrated, and reveled in the glory of what love can do for a community of people.  I came to the conclusion that if I don't get into grad school this year, that's okay, because it means I get another year with these fabulous folks.

A new year's wedding sing-a-long

So many things happened, it's too much to report.  There are many good things on the horizon, I assure you.  Life can be so overwhelming, but we have to keep on going.  What's the point of living if you aren't going to live?  That's my mantra for 2013.

Take risks.  Be responsible.  Share love.

From one fashionably forward family to the next, we say HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Love to all,

-Cindy

The Long Wait...

Hey everyone!

I'm at a friend's house babysitting their kid (he's asleep) so I thought I'd take the time to update.

Well, what an audition season...or lack thereof.  It's been rough out there in the high tides of the Philly theatre scene.  And from what I understand, everyone is feeling the burn.

I decided enough was enough and I am going to find new monologues, slay them, and go to every EPA I can get my hands on.  There are several coming up in the next few weeks and I have the time to learn new stuff (which I so desperately need to) so I'm putting my nose to the grindstone and working it.

I did get called in for a show with a company here and I'm looking forward to the audition.  The character is unique and I think she'll be fun to work on for the audish.  The play has some cliff hangers too.  Hopefully things will work out with that.  I'll keep you updated.

One thing that I have to keep constantly saying to myself is that I am capable of doing these roles.  I've experienced a bit of a let down in my weight loss recently and I've been hard on myself for that.  But I really can only take it one day at a time, and find the time to somehow get myself moving every day, even if that means simply taking a walk for an hour.  The way I had lost the weight before was looking at my schedule every day and seeing how I could fit it in.

It's not just a change that will last for a few weeks or months, it has to be my habit, my life.  Just the same as trying to do something for my career every day.  I must admit I fell of the wagon, feeling let down is a drag.  But I'm clearing my head and just trying to say "Hey there world!  I'm Cindy, this is me, you can take it or leave it".

Sounds cliche.  It is.  But it's what I need to do to stay confident.  Even if it takes writing messages to myself in lipstick on the mirror, or keeping a journal.  Whatever it takes.  I will succeed in my own way.

That's something I would like to mention, actually.  Last night, as I was flipping through a book of Humana Festival plays from 2006, I fell across a picture of an acquaintance of mine, Keira, who is a fantastic actress; edgy, smart, funny, loud.  She's the real deal.  And she's only 4 years older than I.

I was excited to see Keira's photo in there, but then there was a pang of jealousy.  How did she wind up in the 2006 Humana Festival play book at age 24 and here I am almost 27 without a show on the horizon and no EMC credits?

I mustn't compare my life to anyone else's.  No one should.  In any capacity.  It just makes you feel like poo.

For example, I see this all the time at Gymboree.  Babies progress differently from each other.  I've had mom's cry to me because their 6 month old wasn't crawling yet.  Which to be honest is quite a feat for a 6 month old.  But it's true; there are babies at 6 months old crawling around and then several mothers with babies months older have children that are still immobile.

Why must we as humans always look at what needs improving?  Why can't we stand back and say "Look at what I've created.  I am so proud of what I've accomplished."?  I want to find that pride again.  I want to find that endurance and curiosity again.

Truth be told, I don't know when I'll hit my career "snap".  It may be next season, it may be 20 years from now.  It may never happen.  But I do believe that if I put positivity into the universe, sooner or later positivity will reflect back on me.  I truly believe that.

We always hear "life is short" and "carpe diem", and while those sentiments have their value, the theatre world is a world in which we wait.  We wait for auditions, we wait to hear (or not hear) back, we wait while we pay our dues, we wait we wait we wait.  There really is only so much you can do before you have to step back and allow things to follow their course.  You can't control the way a casting director sees you, or if your headshot fell into the right pile.  You just have to wait and see.  And I think there is something sacred in that.

What I have in my life right now, I wouldn't change for the world.  Sure, my career could be better, I could be wearing a size 6.  But when I drop all that I see a beautiful boyfriend, a thriving group of friends, my filled calendar, and love.

Still, I suppose for those other things, we'll have to wait and see.

Until next time.

-Cindy