Today, work was cancelled. So I wrote a to do list and I'm trying to crack away at it. Some of it I like doing, most of it I don't. Today, I overhauled my website to make it simpler and cleaner, smaller and more streamlined and "user friendly" (www.cindyspitko.com). So there's that. I've also reached out to specific groups of people in my life and said HEY! I'M DOING THIS FUNDRAISER PLLEEEAASSEE HELP!
Oh yeah so I'm doing this fundraiser thing.......
Okay so I have some money that needs to be raised...rather, funds that should be collected...that is...ugh this is not my forté.
"I don't make a lot of money and someday I'd like to. Click here to donate"
That's what I should put on my fundanything.com website instead of the long paragraphs about my training and a complete breakdown of where my money is going. Yeah. That'll work...right?
I don't know what will work, but understand when I tell you that I was terrified to launch a fundraiser for a bit of monetary help with my voice over career. After I launched it and sent it haphazardly to about 80 people in my contacts list, I went to work at Starbucks and barked at my friend. He called me out on it. And then I felt bad.
I've donated money to a lot of friends' fundraisers, I've gone to many fundraisers. I never realized how unabashedly stressful they are. I was so afraid that people would be just angry at me for simply asking and I found myself reiterating you know you can donate as low as $1!!!.
I had to convince myself that I was worthy of this fundraiser, that my project is a business and is just as worthy as my friends' fundraisers and projects. I'm not a bad person for setting up a fund raiser and I'm not a bad person if I don't meet the goal. I'm just a human looking for a little financial help, I'm a businesswoman starting a business, I'm a career-oriented actor. And I've budgeted and I did, in fact, lay out all the ways in which the money would be spent.
There's less than 45 days left and that's a lot of time to really reach out to people and say hey, I need your help, we knew each other once, how about a few bucks?
Here's the link...
https://fundanything.com/en/campaigns/home-voice-over-studio-beginning-vo-career?col=-36418
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Also...Philip Seymour Hoffman.
I'm...not devastated, not bereft. I didn't know him though I do know people who knew him. I'm sad. I'm sad, for the first time ever, really, about a celebrity death. Heath Ledger was tragic as well but I didn't feel like I knew him. I didn't know Philip Seymour Hoffman but I felt closer to him.
He was in NYC, a city I frequent. He was at his peak in terms of doing theatre and film work when I was a teenager and I was really REALLY into it. I saw every movie he was in at that time. I waited backstage for him at "Long Days...."and instead met Brian Dennehy (who was LOVELY) and I asked him about PSH and he said he snuck out another door. There's a little known gem written and directed by Mamet called "State and Main" that I watched over and over and over again just so I could see him and Rebecca Pidgeon fall in love. The strangest yet most honest relationship I've seen in a movie. Normal people, falling in extraordinarily normal love. And it made me melt.
I guess his death is surprising in that I really didn't know much about his drug problem. I knew he had struggled with it when he was younger but I didn't know to what extent. I didn't want to hear about the bathroom and all that because he seemed above that. I don't want to remember him in that image. And I'll try my best not to.
There isn't much more I can say other than, be kind to one another. Celebrate one another, cherish the opportunities around you, and try to think positively.
Good bye, Philip Seymour Hoffman. A triumph of an actor. I'll miss him so so much.
