The Calico Life...

Hey there!

So readjusting to not thinking and working on grad school auditions has been more uncomfortable that I thought.  Actually it didn't really ever enter my mind.  But to go from thinking about it and working on it nearly every day to having to push it out of your thoughts completely is challenging.  Though, I've never been good with change...and yet I crave it.

Oh my that sounds melodramatic.  How very "actory" of me to feel that way.  But it's the truth, I really feel a little empty.

One thing that has come out of this whole experience is I feel like I'm a better actor for it.  Especially in terms of my Shakespeare scansion.  The Shakespeare monologues felt like they popped for me in the rooms.  And since then I've auditioned for two Shakespeare productions and I really felt like the language came easier to me.  Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I've been reading and studying Shakespeare since I was in 6th grade.  Something about having to look up words in a dictionary while I read excited me.  It felt like a puzzle.  I even went to Shakespeare camp.  For four years.

But I never really felt like the language clicked with me, not completely.  I always felt like there was something I wasn't locking into.  Working with my boyfriend, Ed Swidey, helped me tremendously, especially the week before the auditions.  We worked a few times and I broke through, which I think afforded me decent auditions this year.

This leads me to tell you an update in general about what's happening.  I've been working a lot as a Standardized Patient, and Ed and I are beginning to figure out where we are going to go on our vacation we are taking in April.  I've had some auditions for upcoming work, and I'm looking forward to some as well.  The gym and I have been friends and I've been cooking a lot more.  I've found that when I want to procrastinate, I cook, whereas before I would have sat around and did nothing.

Life is really wonderful.  Sometimes I get hung up on the rejection side of this business (I suppose we all do?).  But I'm living the life I want to live.  Truly.

So two nights ago I spent about three hours with my Dad and my step-mom because they sing in the Mendelssohn Club of Philadelphia and they had a concert last night in a beautiful cathedral along with The Black Pearl Chamber Orchestra.  It was beautiful and inspiring.  I loved being in there and hearing Beethoven.  I found myself thinking during the concert that Beethoven must have been considered a rock star in his time.  His music was so different and at times unsettling and then it moves into comfort and praise.  He was brilliant and I like to imagine what it must have been like to have been at the the premiere of Symphony No. 9.

The conductor of the orchestra was this stunning woman who came into the room and owned it.  I've never been more inspired by watching a conductor before.  You could hear her sometimes taking a quick inhale in the silence before blasting the hall with loud and boisterous music.  I felt like I was at a rock concert.  I grew up going to see the Philadelphia Orchestra but this was new and fresh.  I loved it.

My parents came in after the intermission with the whole choir...

Mendelssohn Club with the BPCO

Also about a week ago I did a little act for the EgoPo "Phollies" night with my dear friend, Sarah Schol.  We did a "singing sisters" act but we portrayed these washed up, kind of terrible performers.  It was really invigorating to write our own piece and have it be successful.  We sang little bits of songs, danced some Charleston, and got off stage.  In my opinion, it was a glorious, odd, and wondrous night of entertainment.  There was even a strong man act.  And a ukelele.  And opera.  And a one man band.

Sarah and Cindy the Singing Sisters!

It's going to be a lot more wait-and-see for me in the next few weeks.  But I'll keep you updated.

Love to all.

-Cindy

So there was that time I auditioned for grad schools...

Hello all!

So, for the past two weeks I've been auditioning for grad schools!  My my what an experience.  If anything, I can say that I've learned a lot through this whole process.  Here are my thoughts...

First of all, it's mad expensive.  First applying and then actually getting to the auditions.  I met so many great people over the course of the few weeks and I talked with them about their experiences.  There was a young woman named Cricket that I met in New York and I mentioned that I felt really bad for people who were coming up from Florida or Texas, my goodness it must be massively expensive for them.  A lot of the schools have the bulk of their auditions in NYC and then a few days in Chicago and California.  That's it!  I imagine a lot of the applicants get their applications in early so they can get first choice on audition slots.

Secondly, you really have one shot and that's it.  And by one shot I mean four minutes with two contrasting monologues.  Each of the schools run their auditions completely differently, so you need to be up for anything they throw at you.  Some of the schools don't do callbacks, some of them do.  Of the ones that do, some of them let you know right away and others make you wait, some of them call back a bunch of people and others.....don't.  The bottom line is, as soon as you walk in, you don't really have a second chance.  THAT is your chance.  And man do you have to be on it.

Third, you really never know how it's going to go.  You can rip apart a monologue in a practice room and then walk into the audition and flop miserably.  While I don't feel like that happened to me, I did have a different experience in each of the audition rooms.  For the most part I did the same two audition pieces that I feel really good about.  Two pieces that I know I can jump into and "lock-in" so to speak.  All-in-all, I had five solid monologues that if asked I could do any of them.  But I stuck with the two in all the audition rooms and each time it was TOTALLY different.  In one audition, I felt better about my Shakespeare than I ever had, but it was the first time ever in my life that I felt like my contemporary wasn't "there".  It was eerie.  Yet all the same, it's human experience.  Like I said, you need to be on as best as you can be.

Fourth, I learned a lot about my own process.  I now know that I definitely need to go through audition pieces the day of, full voice, in a private room.  That way it feels fresh but also in my body.  I feel well rehearsed and not rusty when I do that.  And usually I discover something new about the monologue.

Finally, traveling can by yourself can be lonely and auditioning for grad programs is easily one of the most stressful things I've ever gone through.  It's always good to have an outlet and see people you love that you haven't seen in a while.  I stayed with my awesome and supportive friend Chrissy who is in grad school herself at The New School.  I saw my friend Tom in Queens who I grew-up across the street from.  And I ran into my friend Dan from high school, and my friend Jamal from college at the same audition. And on the way home on the Megabus, who do I see but my good friend Ryan from Philly coming back from his auditions too.

Hamilton's in Brooklyn

Chrissy in Hamilton's

One of my best friends, Tom and kitty Q-tip, both of whom I've known since 4th grade.

Ryan and I on the Megabus (....he looks crazed...)

My advice for anyone thinking about doing this: be wise and budget your time and money well, be yourself, and trust the vibes you get from the auditions.  If you feel like it went well, then it probably did.  And sometimes, you'll get a good vibe from a school and your friend doesn't.  It just means that every program isn't for everyone.

My final point, as Ron Van Lieu, the Chair of the Yale School of Drama said, everyone who wants to be an actor will be an actor.  PREACH.

And now?  We wait.

-Cindy

P.S. If you see Paul Giamatti just chillin in the hallway at your audition, don't try to engage him in conversation, just politely offer a Girl Scout cookie (as I did) and go on your merry way.